friendship is so weird???
Like it starts out with compliments and cute things and then suddenly it does a complete 360 and you just start screaming at them and calling them motherfucker
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
tomorrow comes
when people unfollow you and you’re left wondering which post was the final straw
